


Midnight Adventure

by casual_hamiltrash



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Crack, Kinda, Texts From Last Night, The mom friend, Well not really, and then our other friend, based on a true story whoops, but anyway, but we both died like seventeen times, came online and she was so confused and i felt so bad for her, except not really bc we live in states, i would assume so, idk - Freeform, is this considered texts from last night, there are literally no relationships this is just an adventure at one in the morning, this counts as that right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 15:04:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11443365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casual_hamiltrash/pseuds/casual_hamiltrash
Summary: i suck at titles ok-also this tells the story of two fucking morons who just wanted a bite to eat at 1 ambased entirely on a true story





	Midnight Adventure

**Author's Note:**

> remember:  
> trash: john  
> therapissed: peggy  
> hobo bob: lafayette
> 
> i'm sorry in advance

trash:  
eeeeeeehhhhhhhhh i just brushed my teeth ;-;

therapissed:  
Whelp

trash:  
i mean i can always rebrush  
alrighty i’ll see if we have anything that’s the equivalent to ginger ale

therapissed:  
Whoops

trash:  
i’m taking my phone time for a midnight adventure  
except not really  
it’s just bread  
anyway

therapissed:  
Yeah I’ll go try to get smth too  
Bringing my phone

trash:  
*starts screeching out the mission impossible theme*  
DUN DUN DUNNA DUN DUN DUNNA  
BWANANAAAAA

therapissed:  
We still have that lemon from last time lma o

trash:  
pfff

therapissed:  
We have oatmeal cream pies  
Which isn’t healthy probably but  
Damn I really need an emoji keyboard for that shrug thing

trash:  
i’m like prancing around while trying to be super quiet  
what is this ballerina superspy bullshit

therapissed:  
Lmao  
“I’m taking my phone time for a midnight adventure” It’s one lmao  
Oh we have bread  
Guess I’ll get that

trash:  
I JUST COLLAPSED INTO THE FUCKING PANTRY IM

therapissed:  
Good job

trash:  
also good lord everything is so loud at night like plate shush

therapissed:  
Me @ the pantry door  
And the fridge door

trash:  
i looked to my left and i thought someone was running at me i’m dying  
pfff same

therapissed:  
We have two radishes in the fridgs  
Fridge  
Why can’t I type fridge

trash:  
?????? well then

therapissed:  
They’re just like  
Laying there  
Not in a container or anything  
They’re just

((and this is where you imagine just two radishes sitting there in a fridge))

trash:  
i almost dropped everything i was carrying hoooooo golly that would’ve been BAAAAD  
pffff

therapissed:  
I have two slices of bread and an oatmeal cream pie how did you get so much

trash:  
??  
what??

therapissed:  
Idk you said “everything” you it seems like you had a lot  
Idk my brainsbdndnsnnfndnd

trash:  
ohh  
*slams face onto the stove*  
nah i had some bread and got super hungry all of a sudden  
so i decided fuck it i’m making a sandwich  
and i almost dropped the condiments  
and the plate

therapissed:  
I could get saltine crackers  
*faceplants onto crackers*  
Oh ok  
Me, making a sandwich: Ok we got the bread and mayonnaise that’s all i feel like getting

trash:  
pffff

therapissed:  
Mayonnaise sandwich i guess  
I found a ginger ale do you want it

trash:  
sure

therapissed:  
*throws vaguely in your direction*

trash:  
pfff thanks

therapissed:  
Yw  
It landed about 200 miles from you though  
Sorry

trash:  
i misread that as the “uwu” face

therapissed:  
Lmao

trash:  
oh well  
i need the exercise anyway

therapissed:  
“Here’s to happiness freedom and life” I hear through my earbuds as I make a mayonnaise sandwich at 1:10 AM

trash:  
pffff  
same whoops  
ok the sandwich has been gotten  
now i want chocolate milk

therapissed:  
I filled my water bottle and forgot to bring it to the event lmao  
I’ll grab it when I go up

trash:  
welp  
ok  
i feel like i’m about to get murdered  
every fucking noise is making me jump help  
something’s moving around down the hallway  
THE LIGHTS JUST WENT OUT  
FUCK  
IM A GONER

therapissed:  
Hey no that’s my job  
Being scared of everything

trash:  
wtf when did i get mustard on my shirt

therapissed:  
Pfffft

trash:  
where are the ghosts

therapissed:  
Shshshhshshsshshs

trash:  
mother of fuck the towel keeps falling from its place

therapissed:  
SHUDH

trash:  
STAY ON THE FUCKING COUNTER YOU DEMON

therapissed:  
SHUSH  
SVUSHSSDHHHHHH

trash:  
SORRY

therapissed:  
ITS OK  
MY HOUSE IS FUCKING CREEPY THO IM DYING SHUS H

trash:  
alrighty i’m still fucking hungry  
guess this is what happens when you eat nothing for a whole day  
wtf i forgot i had a light switch right next to me i was standing here paranoid in the dark for a decade doing nothing

therapissed:  
Lmao  
Where’s my water bottle  
One sec

trash:  
okie then  
MOTHER OF FUCK MICROWAVE BE QUIETER  
actually y’know what fuck it  
*throws microwave out the window*  
uuuuuuugh it’s so fucking ominous  
i feel like i’m about to get sacrificed  
kill me now

therapissed:  
My bottle was in the sink under a few things but still full for some reason and when I took it out I died it was so loud

trash:  
eH

therapissed:  
Yo do you wanna see ominous

trash:  
uhh sure

therapissed:  
One second lemme get back downstairs bc I’m in my room right now

trash:  
okie

((now imagine a staircase, like the kind from a horror movie))

trash:  
fUCK

therapissed:  
There’s two lights on this stairwell and they turn on one at a time slowly

trash:  
ok i just grabbed the biggest knife we have

therapissed:  
And that plastic up there?  
It moves a lot even if there’s only a fan on downstairs  
Also that pic doesn’t have all the stairs  
And to the right of me I have this

trash:  
YEEZUS  
aAH NOISES  
FUCK YOU DEMON  
YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK

((ok now just imagine a black screen, like a void or something idk))

trash:  
it’s just  
dark

therapissed:  
That’s to the right of me  
Ik  
Bc the lights are off

trash:  
CHRIST ON A BIKE WHY IS THE NIGHT SO SCARY

therapissed:  
And my kitchen spans one side of the entire house (fuck you open-floor plans) and it uses three light switches to light it up and it’s really creepy bc smth could come from either direction while you’re making food and you wouldn’t know  
And behind me where I was making was a really big window lmao

trash:  
oh god  
i legislation just yelled “HONEY CALM DOWN” at the honey jar save meeeeee ;-;  
legislation  
good fucking job me

therapissed:  
Pfffft

trash:  
NOISES  
HOLD ON  
KNIFE WHERE ARE YOUUUU ;-;  
I JUST GRABBED THE FUCKING BLADE OW

therapissed:  
I’m eating in my room which is still creepy but like fuck no not the kitchen

trash:  
wow i’m a real fuckup when scared

therapissed:  
Same  
What are you eating btw

trash:  
chicken whoops  
there was a single chicken breast in a bag so

therapissed:  
At 1:30

trash:  
y e p

therapissed:  
Lmao  
I somehow put too much mayonnaise on this sandwich I’m dying

trash:  
ok so so far i almost broke a plate, got scared of a light, almost stabbed myself in the hand, and almost dropped my glass which is still full of milk  
my night is going derek  
swell**  
who the fuck is derek

therapissed:  
Pffffft

trash:  
maybe he’s the thing making all the noises  
if it’s not him it better fucking be my cat

therapissed:  
I feel like I’m gonna one day haunt this house and people will just hear the weird laughter of me texting people

trash:  
pfff yes  
and same acutally

hobo bob:  
i was literally gone for like thirty minutes what happened

trash:  
oH SHIT HI LAF

therapissed:  
Lmao

hobo bob:  
omg

therapissed:  
We scavenged for food and died of fright seventeen times

hobo bob:  
i

therapissed:  
We’re like those fainting goats

bob:  
y’all need a supervisor

trash:  
i just started cackling for no reason help

hobo bob:  
like an actual supervisor

trash:  
is derek possessing me

hobo bob:  
I’m hiring a babysitter omg

therapissed:  
Bob you’re our supervisor duh

hobo bob:  
i was literally gone for thirty minutes

hobo bob sent a video.

therapissed:  
HDHSNFNDNSJF

hobo bob:  
this is literally what happened inn the last thirty minutes  
omg  
why  
also john u ok

therapissed:  
Wait lemme find a video of fainting goats bc that’s what’s been happening to us

trash:  
THAT WAS ON FULL VOLUME I THINK I WOKE MY NEIGHBORHOOD UP DAMMIT ME  
am i ever ok  
oh fuck  
my chocolate milk got all over the stove ;-;  
nOISES-

hobo bob:  
i  
oh my god

trash:  
MY SISTER JUST SCARED ME SO BAD  
I ALMOST KILLED A BITCH

hobo bob:  
ok  
also fiddlesticks I’m going to call u peg  
unless u want another nickname

therapissed:  
HOLY FUCK I JUST FOUND A CALL OF THE WILDMAN VIDEO IM CACKLIN G  
That’s fine

trash:  
my sister thought i was crying

hobo bob:  
y’all need a babysitter  
and r u crying  
or r u laughing

trash:  
no i was like  
nervously cackling

hobo bob:  
oohok

trash:  
i think derek’s possessing me

hobo bob:  
ok

therapissed sent a video.

hobo bob:  
tell derek it’s bedtime

trash renamed the group “Flagelis, Bucko, Tim, and Bob (and Derek???), the best truer friendshit that lives on Mt. Guf and is made up of beginner crocodiles and trrible draaings that canr tyoe wayways and definitely aren’t suspicious so don’t be suspicious rup lmal iips”

therapissed:  
TIM I FOUND US OMG

trash:  
derek is our new demon friend

hobo bob:  
please tell ur new demon friend it’s past bedtime

therapissed:  
Dude: *sneezes*  
Us: *dies*  
I forgot how ridiculous that show was  
I think the dude died by crocodile though

trash:  
e H  
wow now i’m sad ;-;

trerapissed:  
Sorry  
But  
Are we fainting goats or are we fainting goats

trash:  
no  
we’re fainting goats

therapissed:  
Good argument  
I take my statement back  
Bob where’d you go we’re gonna die without you

trash renamed the group “Flagelis, Bucko, Tim, and Bob (and Derek???), the best truer friendshit that lives on Mt. Guf and is made up of beginner crocodiles, trrible draaings, and fainting goats that canr tyoe wayways and definitely aren’t suspicious so don’t be suspicious rup lmal iips”

therapissed:  
Lma o  
Oh

Call, 3s

hobo bob:  
What

trash:  
WAS THAT ME SORRY  
wait what

therapissed:  
Nvm

trash:  
oh what i’m confused

therapissed:  
I forgot lmao  
Tim are you still eating or

trash:  
no i’m brushing my teeth

therapissed:  
Okie dokie  
I love TGC’s Tony performance wtf

trash:  
i almost fell into the bathtub help

therapissed:  
.  
Fainting goat

hobo bob:  
what are y’all doing

therapissed:  
We are literally fainting goats personified wtf

trash:  
i’m dying

hobo bob:  
john no  
john  please  
peg don’t encourage this please

therapissed:  
I’m not  
Not trying to at least

trash:  
I JUST DROPPED MY PHONE IT WAS SO LOUD  
IM SNORTING HELP

hobo bob:  
Omg

therapissed:  
WTF TIM  
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN G

hobo bob:  
i love u all but what

trash:  
MY SISTER SCARED ME

therapissed:  
TIM WHY

trash:  
HEY BLAME HER NOT ME

therapissed:  
You are a disaster  
But so am I  
So it’s fine

trash:  
YEA NO SHIT HONEY

hobo bob:  
how does ur sister scare you so often  
u were literally in the bathroom

trash:  
I GET SCARED EASILY  
WHY DO YOU THINK I HAD A BIG ASS KITCHEN KNIFE NEXT TO ME WHILE I WAS EATING A SANDWICH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

hobo bob:  
why did u have a knife if u know u get scared easily

therapissed:  
Bc he gets scared easily

hobo bob:  
doesn’t that mean ur chances of stabbing someone rises

therapissed:  
But

trash:  
ye but

therapissed:  
He didn’t want to be stabbed by someone else

trash:  
ye

hobo bob:  
ur literally in ur own house

trash:  
IM PARANOID OK  
PLUS WOULD YOU RATHER I STAB SOMETHING OUT OF SELF DEFENSE OR GET STABBED BY SOMETHING AND MOST LIKELY DIE

 

hobo bob:  
ok fine  
but no more knife

therapissed:  
Yes more knives  
All of the knives

hobo bob:  
no more knives

trash:  
they’re right in my kitchen??

therapissed:  
ALL OF THEM

hobo bob:  
peg no

therapissed:  
Peg yes

hobo bob:  
peg n o

broadway trash:  
and i have like two pocket knives in my room?

therapissed:  
Peg y e s

hobo bob:  
ok john 1) no and 2) peg wtf  
therapissed:  
;)

hobo bob:  
g r o u n d e d

**Author's Note:**

> well that was one hell of a ride now wasn't it


End file.
